


Lone Wolf

by UnderAPseudonym



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bromance, Creative Liberties, F/M, but not too many, but remus is also bros with sirius, james and remus are bros, lily and remus are besties, remus is a sweet baby angel, sorry if this isn't totally historically accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:41:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14086176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderAPseudonym/pseuds/UnderAPseudonym
Summary: Remus has been the lone wolf long before it was a double entendre. This is a short collection of his most pertinent memories with The Marauders, and more importantly, his best friend Lily Evans Potter.





	Lone Wolf

Remus first met Lily when they were both 12. 

It was second year, and McGonagall had made them work on a project together, after discovering that they were clearly two of the smartest in their class. 

And from the first word they spoke to each other, it was like two halves of a puzzle had finally been put together.

He couldn't help but be enthralled by the ginger. She was surprisingly quiet, like she had something to say, but she didn't want to talk. Remus got the feeling that she didn't want attention, and that she'd be just as happy to blend into the background of some picture, rather than be a primary color.

They were somewhat of a dream team, and after putting together one of the best projects McGonagall had ever seen, they were paired together for nearly everything after that.

They quickly became friends, sitting together during meals, and allowing her into his small circle of friends. They spoke almost every day, and for a minute, Remus thought he might love this girl.

That's when he told her his secret.

He wasn't sure how it all came out, it was like word vomit, like he really couldn't hold it back. It was a blackout moment for him, an he didn't know what happened.

Lily was the first person he told, on his 14th birthday.

She didn't do anything Remus expected. He thought she might be disgusted, or viscerally gesture her disdain. But she didn't.

She hugged him.

Secretly, Remus had wanted to lean in for a kiss, but he didn't want to ruin the moment.

And that same year, fourth year, Remus noticed James staring at her.

"Hey, Moony, do you want to do me a favor?" he asked one day.

"No, not really."

"Seriously Moony--" he looked surprisingly genuine. It was the most genuine Remus had ever seen James. "I need you to put in a good word with Evans."

Remus couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Please, Moony. I really need this."

Remus had to hide his anger and jealousy. He had been plotting to try and get with Lily Evans all year now, ever since he told her his secret.

"Prongs, even if I did put in a good word, you are in a long line of men who want to date Lily." he retorted, trying to turn James off the idea. And it worked. For nearly two months.

And in that two months, Remus knew he had to make a move, but he never did.

There was something off-putting about how persistent James was.

"Alright, why are you so pensive?" Lily asked while they studied for their OWLS. 

She had her arms folded and determination in her eyes. Remus knew he was no match for her.

"Really it's nothing, we should go back to--"

"No, Remus, you're important to me." Remus felt his heart catch in his throat quickly. This was the moment, his moment. 

Say something.

"Just really worried for the OWLS."

Christ on crackers, that was the best he could do?

"I don't buy it, Remus."

"I don't know what you want me to say. I'm fine."

She didn't try to fight him, she just let him be as angry as he saw fit.

And Remus stayed angry for the next month or two, watching while James and Lily became close friends.

And during winter break of sixth year, they made it official.

One night, after the first date they'd shared, James came barreling into the Gryffindor boy's dorms.

"GUYS!" he shouted, Sirius and Peter jumped up quickly, but Remus remained sitting, quickly going back to studying his book.

"Did you kiss her?"

"What about sex? Did you do that?"

Sirius and Peter berated James with questions, wanting every little detail. Remus didn't know if he could bear sitting around hearing about how much James was obsessed with Lily.

"No, nothing like that. We just hung out."

"Boring." Sirius and Peter both said in unison, walking up the staircase to their beds.

James looked over at Remus, sitting down on the small couch next to him.

"I know you love her, Remus." James spoke suddenly.

They both looked directly into the fire, and for the first time in his life, Remus was struggling with his vernacular. 

"Don't try to fight me. Just this once, I need you to hear me out." James spoke quietly, finally reaching Remus' gaze. "What I experienced tonight--" James scoffed, almost as if he was baffled. "--it was enough to scare me for the rest of my life. I've never felt more deeply attached to someone in my whole life. And I know that's how you must feel, but Remus--" James almost never called Remus anything but Moony. This had to be serious if James was using Remus' actual name. "This is different. I just know it."

James spoke with fervor and passion. And it was hard to even look at him while he was giving his speech.

"I can understand why you wouldn't believe me, you knew her before I ever did, but I just don't know how to explain it." James finished, waiting for Remus to say something.

There was a long silence, and James stood, making his way to the staircase upstairs.

"Your friendship means a lot to me, and if you really want her that bad, I'll let you have her." he took a deep breath. "But please, don't make me do that."

Remus sat in the quiet, watching the fire crackle, trying to take his mind off what had just happened. 

But like a gentle wind, a letter flew in carefully, landing square in his lap.

He opened it quickly, reading the contents.

Remus,

James told me I have you to thank for the date I had tonight. I can't thank you enough. It was one of the most wonderful nights of my life. There's something about James that is just so--I can't even describe it. Thank you all the same.

-Lily

Remus let a single tear slip slowly down his cheek. But he wiped it away quickly.

That night, Remus decided that this was best. 

He would always love Lily, but she loved James. And James loved her.

Remus allowed a small smile to grace is expression, and could only relish at how in love his two best friends were.

Maybe it wasn't right for him. Maybe they were meant to be together. He didn't know. But he had to be their friend, that was a place he knew he was needed.

At the end of sixth year, Dumbledore recruited them to join a 'special task force'. 

Remus knew from the beginning, like a sixth sense, that nothing good would ever come from this. He wrote it off as pessimism, but for some reason, he felt like everyone he cared about was going to die, and he would be cursed to be left alive without them. 

But his heart had to be in it. He had to really believe in it. Or there would really be no hope.

One night, the beginning of seventh year, Lily sat him down to have a conversation.

"Are we doing the right thing?" she whispered, looking into his eyes wistfully. Remus had never seen Lily Evans scared before this very moment, but her eyes told a different story.

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe joining this war isn't the best thing." She spoke quietly, so James and Sirius couldn't hear from the other room.

James was the first to jump on board. A true hero and nobleman, James couldn't rest if innocent people were dying. He always looked for a purpose, even if he seemingly already had one. He always craved a bigger purpose. And Sirius agreed after he heard James was joining. So had Peter.

Lily and Remus took a little longer. 

Their minds had always worked in conjunct motion, functioning the same way and at the same speed. And in this moment, they were having the same exact thoughts. But Remus couldn't say that. He had to sell her on the idea because he couldn't live without her in his life.

"They need our help, Lily. We're some of the greatest young wizards Hogwarts has ever seen. We owe it to the world." 

"We don't owe anyone anything, Remus!" Lily was suddenly yelling. "Arthur Weasley and Molly Prewitt said no! And they're incredible wizards." James and Sirius slowly crawled out of the room next door to hear the argument. James hadn't been able to sell her on the idea, but something told Remus that he could do it.

"Lily, people are dying, innocent people, men, women, children." Remus raised his voice a little. "If we don't do anything, that blood is on our hands."

She rolled her eyes painfully hard.

"I'm so tired of this self-righteous attitude towards everything! We aren't Jesus Christ! We can't save humanity! I'm just trying to graduate from school and build a life that I can live peacefully. We don't owe the wizarding world anything." she hissed, standing up and staring down at him for a minute. "Do you really believe all that you're saying?"

There was a long silence, where Remus was trying to think of the right thing to say. He could be honest, but then she might leave them forever. Or if he lies, she would be unhappy forever. And he couldn't bear the thought of that. He'd rather be in pain, than her be unhappy.

"Lily, I don't have to. James and Sirius and Peter need me. I don't have a family, and you people are my only friends." he took a deep breath. "What choice do I have?"

She stared at him for a long time, just processing what he said.

Finally, she relaxed back down onto the couch.

"I'm your family, Remus. And I guess that means I have to join this fight whether I want to or not." She smiled sadly, wrapping him up in a tight embrace.

They stayed there for a minute, before pulling apart.

"You're right Lily, you don't owe me anything. You don't have to do this if you don't want to." he reassured, making sure she was happy. That's all he had ever cared about. Her happiness.

"I'm sure about this, Remus."

That night, they made their prefect rounds quietly, just processing and preparing for what was going to happen in the coming months.

But no amount of preparation would ever get Remus ready for the loss he would experience.

By the end of seventh year, the group had taken the name 'The Order of The Phoenix'. It was their codename.

At graduation, Remus and Lily gave addresses, as the two valedictorians of the class.

Afterwards, James received a call, pulling him away from the graduation party festivities.

Remus was the first to notice he was gone.

And after a few minutes of searching, Remus found James sobbing in a broom closet.

Remus just stared, not sure what to say.

"Dad's sick, Moony. Really sick." James sobbed, Remus immediately pulling him into a hug, like a knee jerk reaction.

"Merlin--" Remus whispered, just letting James cry into his shoulder.

In the upcoming months, James' father got sicker, and his mother developed cancer. 

James, Lily, and Remus shared a small flat near the ministry, while Sirius lived just down the road with Roxanne. James got a job as an auror for the Ministry of Defense, following in the footsteps of his father. Lily got a nursing internship at St. Mungo's. Sirius worked for the Ministry of Magic, in the mythical creatures division, due to his animagi status. Roxanne and Remus both took jobs with the Ministry of Magical Sciences. And whenever they weren't at work, they fought for the Order of The Phoenix.

One night, after a particularly difficult raid, James sat Remus down on their tiny couch.

"I need to ask you something, Remus." he spluttered, unusually nervous.

"Okay?"

He took a long pause.

"Moony, you're the closest thing that Lily's got to family, and with my parents being sick it just kind of puts everything in perspective, and you're the only person that loves her as much as I do, and--" James spoke quickly, going off on a tangent.

Remus let a small smirk settle on his face.

"You don't need to ask my permission, James."

"Good, cause I don't think I was ever going to get there." he let out a long breath, both of them grinning widely.

The next day, James proposed to Lily.

And the day after that, Lily came barreling into the apartment, crashing into Remus for a big hug.

"Remus, you won't even believe it!" she sounded exasperated and excitable.

Remus knew, of course, but he let her have her moment.

"James and I are getting MARRIED!" She squealed, and Remus grinned as wide as he could manage. Suddenly, Lily's smile was gone. "He already told you, didn't he?" 

"Sorta." Remus replied, bashful.

It only took them three months to plan the wedding.

It was a small affair, only the Order, plus Remus' mother and James' parents were invited.

It was one of the last nights they would ever be truly happy. Sirius gave a slightly drunken, but heartfelt all the same, speech about James. Remus gave a tear-jerking and ethereal speech about Lily. There was clapping, there was laughter, there was dancing, and Remus honestly couldn't remember a night where he smiled so wide or so often. It reminded him of years before, where as young teens, they would sit in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, everyone piled onto that one couch and laughing about absolutely nothing. Those were simpler times. 

They began to see less of Peter, almost none at all. Remus thought nothing of it, and figured that Peter was fighting his own battles.

And they all wore black to the funeral of Mr. and Mrs. Potter. James handed him a small piece of paper, the eulogy he was supposed to give. Remus gave the impassioned speech in front of all their friends and family, trying to capture as much emotion and honor as the Potters deserved. They were much too kind to him and Sirius growing up. Remus remembered the long summers they would spend in Godric's Hollow, playing on the small playground, going on adventures, getting into trouble. Mr. and Mrs. Potter would always be waiting back at the house, ready to feed the boys and provide whatever they needed.

They all watched on as the coffins were lowered into the ground slowly, and stayed to watch the dirt be shoveled over the top.

Remus tried to help as much as he could with James' legal stuff, and his inheritance.

There was a night in late October, just weeks after the funeral, where Lily came to him sobbing, more fear in her eyes than he'd ever seen.

"Lily what's wrong? Is James alright?" he feared the worst, thinking something had happened to James.

"Merlin, Remus. I've really done it this time." she sobbed, collapsing into his chest.

"Lily, don't hold out. What's going on?" he rushed, trying to get her to tell him what was wrong. His chest began to preemptively clench up, preparing for bad news.

"I'm pregnant, Remus." she whispered, and he remained tense, until his brain could process the information. No one was dead, thank Merlin. Quite the opposite, actually.

He couldn't help but smile, and Lily did the same. He tried to reassure her that this was the farthest thing from bad news they'd received lately.

Once James found out, the Marauders sat down with Dumbledore, trying to decide what was best.

They came to the consensus that James and Lily should go hideout somewhere, and that only one of the Marauders should know the location, so that they couldn't be blackmailed. 

James wanted to tell Sirius immediately, but Dumbledore thought it best to choose the person least likely to be called on by Death Eaters.

So they told Peter.

That last night before they left, Lily pulled Remus aside.

"I want you to know that as soon as this whole thing blows over, you will be the first person I call to come visit." she smiled, trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

"I know. And I'll keep fighting, looking forward to that call." he responded, eyes beginning to get misty.

"You know--" she let a tear slip down her ivory cheek. "You were always the best friend I could ever ask for. You're intelligent, caring, loyal." she sniffled. "I sure do hope I get to see you again before I die." she smiled sadly.

"Don't talk like that." he sighed, trying not to let his own tears get the best of him.

"I'm being realistic." she quipped. "If I don't though, I just want you to know that you've been so much better to me than I ever deserved. You were the best prefect, the best confidant, and the best kindred spirit I could have ever asked for." she began to sob, standing on her tip-toes to pull him into a tight hug. "I love you, Remus Lupin." she whispered into his ear, making him choke on a sob.

"I love you too, Lily Evans Potter."

That was the last time Remus saw them alive.

He and Sirius had rushed to the scene as soon as they found out James and Lily were dead.

They got there to find Dumbledore sweeping the place and McGonagall holding a sobbing Harry.

Harry Potter.

That was the first look Remus and Sirius had ever gotten at the boy.

He looked just like James.

Remus took Harry from McGonagall, and the infant quieted almost instantly. Harry looked up at Remus in wonder, green eyes sparkling fiercely. 

Sirius took one look at his godson and vowed to kill Peter Pettigrew. He left that night in search of Peter.

But it was all a trap. It took little to no time for Sirius to get caught and sent to Azkaban, framed for the murder of Lily and James.

Days after, the Order was fighting about who would take Harry.

"Remus, you're a werewolf, and you're currently homeless, you don't have the means to take care of Harry." Dumbledore chided.

"Albus, I'm all he has left. Sirius is in jail, Peter is a traitor, and his parents are dead!" Remus found himself yelling.

"Remus, I know you care for him, and you cared for his parents, and I'm sorry." Dumbledore finished, walking off. McGonagall approached him, Harry in her grasp. He hiccuped and smiled when he saw Remus.

"For the record--" she smirked, handing him over to Remus. "I think you'd give him everything he truly needed. Everything the Dursley's can't give him." she nodded, watching Remus collect up the infant and coo at him.

"Thanks, Minerva." Remus whispered, soaking up these last moments with Harry.

Just minutes later, The Order put it to a vote.

And by one vote, Dumbledore's vote, Remus had to let Harry go with the Dursley's. 

Remus went back to the flat that Sirius and him had shared, knowing he would have to find new lodgings soon, and get a job, but not caring about it. He had just failed Lily and James. In the wake of their death, he couldn't take care of what mattered most to them; their son.

He was wayward for a long time after that, for over a decade.

But one fateful day, Dumbledore called on him to come teach at Hogwarts.

And when he first saw Harry again, sitting next to a redhead, it felt like everything was back in motion, like the world had finally clicked again. And when he caught Harry with the Marauders Map, and told Snape off, he smiled wider than he had in years.

He made a trip up to the Gryffindor common room, just to see what had changed, and to his surprise, everything looked relatively similar. They still had that same old couch in front of the fireplace.

Harry and his friends sat on it, laughing and practicing hexes. It was a simple time.

It reminded him of the times he would sit on that couch with Harry's father, laughing and studying.

And he would remember that moment, those happy moments on that very same couch in front of that very same fireplace, when he was killed by a death eater on that day in May 1998.

He died honestly, proclaiming his allegiance to The Order, The Marauders, and Harry Potter.

It was all he'd ever wanted, after living for years as the only surviving member of his small family, to join them wherever they were. And he had faith that by leaving his own son behind, Harry Potter could right the wrong Remus had done to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thanks so much for reading this, it was pretty near and dear to my heart. I love Remus, and he's such a sad but sweet boi. If you care so much as to go ahead and kudos this work or look at any of my other works, that is much appreciated!


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